


The Life And Times of Natalie Howard

by LizzieHopscotch



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Drabble, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-02 21:06:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8683363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzieHopscotch/pseuds/LizzieHopscotch
Summary: Natalie Howard is the receptionist/secretary/coffee gopher of the BSU.
 

  Being a receptionist/secretary/coffee gopher for the Behavioural Science Unit headed by Jack Crawford was interesting to say the least. For Natalie Howard, typist and data entry extraordinaire, it usually went something a little like this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first Hannibal fic! I...have no idea what I'm doing which is why this slightly irreverent fic appeared. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

Being a receptionist/secretary/coffee gopher for the Behavioural Science Unit headed by Jack Crawford was interesting to say the least. For Natalie Howard, typist and data entry extraordinaire, it usually went something a little like this.

Crawford got to the office at a ridiculously early hour which meant Natalie had to be as well.

The man was cranky without his morning pumpkin spice latte. Which was why she loved autumn with every fibre of her being because quite honestly the months where there was no pumpkin spice were getting intolerable. Last year she’d broken down in front of a barista and begged ( _begged!)_ for the recipe only to be politely denied.

She’d boycotted Starbucks until her craving for Double Fudge Hot Chocolate got the best of her.

The rest of the staff would come through blearily sometime after, stopping at her desk for their morning pick-me-ups. Remember that coffee shop scene from Miss Congeniality? Yeah that was Natalie’s job. Except she didn’t have a badge to let her queue jump. Luckily that barista had remembered her and had begun to get her order ready before she walked in the door. And company card? Yes, please Agent Crawford I will definitely get that recipe if you give me one because the daily coffee bill is _crippling me_. The coffee gopher part of her job title is real. Maybe she should just cave and ask out the barista? She’s about seventy percent sure she can charm it out of her. Maybe.

She digresses.

Price would arrive first and swipe his awfully sweet chai and syrup concoction, followed by Beverly who grabbed a plain old cappuccino and would then talk to her for five minutes before vanishing. Maybe she should ask her out instead. No. Stop. Bad brain. Anyway, out of Crawford’s Tremendous Trio Zeller would always be the last one in. Natalie would put his coffee in the microwave if he wasn’t such a jerk. Should he change his ways and maybe grow some manners she might consider starting a positive reinforcement program. These people study behaviour, right?

Oh, god why did she choose this job?

She was a History and English Major not a scientist/psychologist person. Ah well, nine hours to go and she will be home with Netflix and a fresh batch of cupcakes. Yum, cupcakes.

But first! Data entry! Phone calls! Emails! Scanning because Jack Crawford doesn’t understand digital files! Hot chocolate!

And then inevitably there would be some kind of emergency and Crawford would come bellowing out of his office.

There would be a flurry of activity and the office would practically empty for days as forensic techs and others disappeared into the field.

Natalie usually took these opportunities to slip her heels off and watch a few kitten videos. She knows the next time she sees these people they will be wheeling by whatever remains of some poor person that had freaked out the locals so much they called the purveyor of the Evil Minds Museum.

Or not remains as the case may be.

This time they were dealing with missing girls in Minnesota and Jack had decided to bring in his own oddity. A living one.

Let’s hear it for some variety up in the BSU!

Natalie watched from behind the front desk as the new guy walked around. He was scruffy and fluffy and needed some feeding but most of all she just wanted to give him a hug. Guy did not want to be there. At all.

She vowed to figure out his coffee order to make him feel better.

It took two trips with multiple varieties but in the end, Will Graham was a grossly predictable black coffee.

And then entered one Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

Natalie took one look at his pressed suit and went to dust off the kettle. Everyone had definitely gotten used to her coffee runs. Then the good doctor began to talk, and Natalie rooted around for the meagre speciality tea collection. She’d top it up tomorrow, though she didn’t miss the dismissive glance the doctor gave them. Whatever, she still wanted to ruffle his hair. One fluffy scruffy and one far too put together to be healthy.

Scientist or psychologist she wasn’t, but she still entered the betting pool on when they’d start fucking.

X|X

Freddie Lounds was a parasite.

Actually, no that’s an insult to all tapeworms everywhere.

Freddie Lounds was the decaying remains of a parasite so foul it was left to rot in its own filth that then polluted the ground it died on for a thousand years.

She may hate Freddie Lounds.

Just a little.

Bitch insulted her cupcakes, her people, and her scruffy fluffy pair.

Why has she never been arrested for interfering with a federal investigation?

X|X

The Minnesota Shrike turns out to be a cannibal who loves his daughter too much. She’s sort of reminded of old fairy tales where the witch in the cabin in the woods lures the children in with sweets. Or would a red riding hood comparison be better? Natalie vowed to turn vegetarian there and then but broke when she passed the deep fried chicken place on her way home.

By the time she got into work the next day there was a little sign declaring all food under it to be “people free”.

It had to be Zeller’s handiwork.

She put the drinks under it anyway.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Would anyone be interested in seeing more or Natalie? I have a half baked plot thought out, but I'm not sure if I should continue or not. 
> 
> Plus I have a vague idea of a plot involving Will Graham's mute niece. Maybe. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Much hugs,
> 
> Lizzie Hopscotch


End file.
